I know this is cliche' but my life lately has been a real roller coaster.Most of you know that I just had a beautiful baby girl named Addison. She is so much fun and such a blessing to our family. My pregnancy was a really hard one with her. I left work February 28th for maternity leave and anticipated coming back to work on June 1st. It took me all 3 months to mentally prepare myself for going back to work. I wanted to be home with my kids sooo bad I cried daily. I finally got myself to the point I was okay with going back. I would survive. Many mothers out there worked full time and still had time for their kids. Then I got a phone call on Thursday afternoon, "I am sorry we are not going to have you come back. The economy is still not good and we need to cut costs....blah blah blah". A huge blow to me! I have never been let go, laid off or fired etc. I felt worthless! Like the wind had been knocked out of me. How could this happen? This is all I have ever known. I have worked full time in the title industry for 9+ years! The next couple of days I have been trying to make the decision- Do I go back to work or do I stay home with my kids now that I have the chance? My heart tells me it is time for me to be with my kids. It is time for me to take the giant leap of faith and be home with my kids. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom but this was really not on the terms I wanted. I will be honest, my heart hurts knowing that chapter in my life is over. It hurts to know that it was easy to let me go because I have been gone for the last 3 months on maternity leave. Am I not worth it? Am I not good enough? I have to forget about that and realize the huge opportunity I have right now. I think I have been prepared for this to happen all along. In March I spent a lot of time working on a little side business I have. It really started to take off and I was making a bit of extra money. Then on Wednesday of this week I got an email from the Quilted Bear. I had put in an application to be a vendor there about a year ago in hopes that eventually I would make my way up the waiting list and get a chance to sell there. They had an opening in a great location that I could take right away if I wanted it. I met with the manager to sign papers just 5 minutes after getting the horrible news on Thursday. This is a huge opportunity for me! It will allow me to be home with my kids and still make enough money. My etsy store has also more then doubled in income each month. Now the only thing I have to figure out is insurance and I will be an official stay at home mom. I honestly believe despite the HORRIBLE feeling of being let go, that this is what our Father in Heaven has in store for me.
So here is to a new chapter in my life!
3 comments:
Wow!! That one made me cry. I would give anything to be able to stay home with my little Adi. But I am so happy you get to do that. It is obviously what you are supposed to do with everything falling into place like that. I am so excited for you. I am sure you are nervous, but I know your bows will continue to sell like crazy. You should actually give me some business cards that I can put in my salon, because people ask me all the time where I get my bows. Good luck with everything.
Oh Amanda. Please don't feel that way. Just because the economy is bad doesn't mean that you weren't a valued employee/co-worker. We'll miss you and frankly I'm envious of your position. What I wouldn't give to be at home with Winston. If I'm let go - things are bad enough that I worry about it every day - I don't have a side business to fall back on. Be grateful for this opportunity.
Oh Amanda I am so sorry! I know how you feel, I was there a month ago! I am so excited that your etsy store is ROCKING! Your awesome! Keep having faith!
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