Guess who is back...

It has taken me months and months to blog on here. So much has gone on and I won't begin to try and catch up. So for now I will just start from today and go forward. I have been feeling very well....... blah lately. I feel like I have no purpose, that no one really needs me and that if I just disappeared into thin air that no one would notice. I know this isn't true but I just feel that way. So I would like to start listing out the highs and lows of each day (no I am not posting every single day but a couple times a week) and what I am thankful for. The high for me today was helping Addison learn how to swing the bat to hit the ball. She would hit it and run after it. I love watching her learn new things. The low for me today has just been feeling off. Feeling like I just don't have a place and that I am constantly searching for something to do. I don't like it....... I wish I could stop it but in time I know that will change. I am so thankful for my kiddos. They are why I get up in the morning (even if they make me get up before 8) and why I work so hard. I love them with all my heart and I am very lucky. I can't believe my baby girl will be 10 years old this Friday. I am just in shock that she could be that old already. So i will be getting ready for a fun celebration this week that should help me feel a little less blah.

My New Life

Wonder

September 11 and how it changed my life

September 11, 2001-

I woke up to my Dad knocking on my door "Amanda you need to come see this." I ran out into the kitchen and sat down to see that one plane had hit the World Trade Center. I couldn't believe it. What was going on? I knew this was no accident. I could tell this was only the beginning of something bigger. I sat in silence with my Dad watching what was going on when the 2nd plane hit. I broke down in tears! This was crazy and I didn't know how to feel. At the time I was working for For Every Body in the Provo mall. I had to get to work by 10:00 so i hurried to shower and get ready. I grabbed my journal and ran out the door. Every radio station was covering the events. I got to work, opened the shop and looked around. No one was there! I wanted to go home. I was scared. Most places were sending their employees home and I just did not want to be in an open public area. Who knew what would happen after seeing what seemed to be from a movie. I called Jason who was my boyfriend at the time and asked him to come down to be with me. I turned on the radio at work to listen to what was going on. Writing in my journal and listening to the radio is how i spent the next few hours. They let us go home about 1:00 because the mall was empty. Every store had closed up shop so we were safe to as well.

September 11, 2011-

I had no idea how this event would change my life today. Every single year we would remember, mourn and cry with those that lost loved ones. Jason's brother was out fighting in Operation Freedom for many of those times. On September 21, 2010 I got to witness two men dressed in uniform come to my Mother in laws door and deliver the worst news i think anyone could hear. Matt died fighting for our freedom. He was trying to find the horrible man who attacked us so many years ago. Just months after his passing they found the horrible man he tried so hard to find. Ten years ago I had no idea how hard that single event would hit our family. Today as we look back and remember those THOUSANDS of brave men and woman who lost their life on that horrible day, I hope we can remember how we felt on September 11, 2001 and continue to strive to be the best we can be, to hug and kiss our loved ones just a little bit more and to not take a single day for granted.

Easter

This year was so much fun! Addi was a blast and Makayla and Kaden are still in the age they believe in the easter bunny. We had the Wagstaff side of the family over on Saturday to party and then the Ashby side over on tonight. It was so much fun even if I am still sick! I have been sick for a couple weeks now. Not sure what the deal is but Jason gave me a great Easter present and let me sleep. It was needed! I haven't slept like that in over a year. All in all it was a great weekend and I am so blessed to have such a wonderful little family! LOVE my kids and hubby so much!

for those interested or that care...

I am working on something for myself and saw how powerful it was for my sister in law to start a blog/journal about her goal so I decided to jump on the band wagon and do that with my goal. If you are interested feel free to read it. Can't promise it will be exciting ;)

http://myjourneytoanorganizedlife.blogspot.com/

Addi

Addi got a cell phone for her birthday..... a pretend one that she LOVES! Sean and Chloe gave it to her and she could care less about the rest of the gifts. We ended up having to take it away so she would open the others. She is lugging the phone around with her right now.

Aunt Tiffany got her the cutest little bear named Cooper that you read these books with. Cooper responds to the story. It is really cute. You can say "Cooper I love you" and Cooper responds "I love you!" So fun!

It took a while for her to get into the cake thing. She would pick the flowers off so dainty and girly. We then decided to give her a fork and..........

This is the aftermath! We kept her clothes on because she still has that boo boo on her belly from surgery and I didn't want to chance getting it dirty so it was pretty fun getting her cleaned up after. She got some really cute clothes from Cassie, Grandpas and Grandmas, tub toys from Grandpa and Grandma Hepworth along with a little dress that is just adorable in pale yellow, the cell phone, a little people play house. She had a great birthday! Thanks for all the fun everyone.