Day 5

Blessings alone do not open our eyes. Indeed, blessings by themselves tend to close our eyes. We do not come to know Him in the blessing, but in the breaking. --Chip Brogden

It has been no secret that the last year and a half has been the HARDEST time in my life so far. Jason with out a job for so long, me being soooo sick pregnant and then having our third child. Trying to figure out what is right for our family has been another hard one for me. I lost my job just 2 days before I came back from maternity leave and I feel like it was a push in the right direction. I really don't think I would have ever taken the leap and stayed home with my kids if I wasn't in a way forced to. There have been LOTS of days since that time that I have felt like I just can't do it. We just don't have the money for it and I can't keep playing the game. Then November comes and there happens to be a break in the clouds, Jason gets a job. I have prayed many nights to find out what I should be doing, if I should continue to stay home. Should I go work a full time job, double our income and have someone else raise my children? I ALWAYS get the same answer and that is that I am doing EXACTLY what I need to be doing right now. I know we will be blessed and things are starting to turn. I am so thankful for trials. It is so true that if we have such a perfect life and nothing ever happens to us, no trials and no pain, that we will never see the true blessings. I know that one day I will look back and realize all the things I needed to learn and how it helped me grow as a monther and a person. I love my husband soooo very much. He continues to push me and support me. Together we will climb huge mountains and end up at the finish line with big smiles on our faces because WE DID IT!!!!!